When We are in a relationship with someone who has already been in a relationship with someone else. In such a situation, the person sometimes remains emotionally attached to their former partner. Now even if he is in a relationship with us. It can affect our relationship. It can also harm our mental health.
Being the “second potato” in a relationship is an experience that can break anyone mentally and emotionally. This is a situation where your partner simply views you as an option rather than making you a priority.
Today in relationships we know that-
What is a “second potato”? What are its disadvantages? How to avoid becoming a “second potato”?
What is a “second potato” in a relationship? A “second potato” in a relationship is a situation in which you are not a priority for your partner, but an option. This means your partner is still mentally or emotionally attached to their old relationship or someone else. He is not capable of accepting you completely. This situation causes dissatisfaction in the relationship, a lack of trust and a loss of self-respect.
What are the downsides of becoming a “second potato”?
Becoming a “second potato” affects a person’s mental peace. According to the study “Motivational Underpinnings of Romantic Partner Perceptions: Psychological and Physiological Evidence,” published in the “Journal of Personal and Social Relations,” people who compare a former boyfriend or girlfriend to their current partner also value more of importance to their former partner. On a positive note, their relationship is strained and they are unhappy with each other.
Let’s understand the chart in detail.
feeling of insecurity
Feeling like “second potatoes” can leave a person unsure of their value in the relationship. When a person feels that their partner is more attracted to their ex or doesn’t make them a priority, it can lead to low self-esteem and self-confidence.
stress and mental pressure
If your partner still thinks about their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, it can cause tension in your relationship. This stress can harm your mental health and damage your self-esteem.
lack of confidence
The biggest downside of becoming someone’s surrogate is that the trust between the two of you weakens. Due to constant tension and emptiness, such a relationship does not last long.
feeling of doubt
A person who feels like a “second potato” may be suspicious of their partner. Especially when she feels like her partner is putting someone else first. When partners have emotional attachments to previous relationships, it can create distrust, tension, and distance in the relationship. This can lead to a lack of communication between the two.
loyalty
When a person feels undervalued in a relationship, their loyalty may diminish. He may seek affection or attention from someone else, which can create a rift in the relationship and break trust.
fear of losing one’s identity
When you know you are someone’s “second choice”, you begin to lose your personal identity and self-esteem. This condition can have a negative impact on your mental health.
How to avoid becoming a “second potato”?
To avoid becoming someone’s “second potato”, fully accept yourself and your partner. Communicate openly with your partner. Focus on increasing your emotional connection with your partner. Also prioritize yourself and develop self-respect. Let’s understand it through a graph.
make yourself a priority
First, understand that you are not replacing anyone. Keep your self-esteem and happiness above all else.
bring clarity to the relationship
Talk openly to your partner. If you sense that they are still emotionally attached to their ex, talk about it.
evaluate the relationship
Try to understand where your relationship is going. If you remain a “second potato” for a long time, it will not be good for your mental and emotional health.
Keep your distance from your partner
If you feel that your partner is not putting you first, that things are not changing despite your continued efforts, then it is better to decide to walk away from this relationship. With this, you can make a thoughtful decision about your future.